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[Friday
May 13th 8.12am] |
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i'm really not in the mood to write anythin. its too early and i;m fucking tired ok well. i broke up with aj on tuesday. and i have to say it sucks. i'm not gonna go into details about why or anything. but it just really sucks. good thing i have chris . iuno what i'd do without him. sence non of my other friends seem to give a shit. but hey. whattteverrr. i mis him though. =(..i'll have to update when i get home.. i'm gonna be late.
i'm single!! <||3
and i;m going to chris' this weekend =)
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[Sunday
May 8th 8.11pm] |
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its been like 4235375847548 months sence i've written in this thing <33. so i'll just start off with friday.
okay. well. friday uhm i got my interum. and it sucked. i was grounded. but then my dad said i wasnt. so =). but, he also said that if i dont bring all of my grades up by this coming friday, that i would be grounded until end of the year report cards come out. so that sucks. BUT! ..me and juli went to mbp..on the way there..i spilt grape soda all over my fucking pants. lmao.but it was alot of fun. i saw karlena and my heart like stopped. and i was being shy. lol..then everyone was being silly. and they were throwing eachother. and andrew gave me a ring =) he said he got me something for being sick. and i was like " is it a cough drop" ahah and then he pulled out a ring. lol.karlena was all mad. but thats kay.i wuv em. then i was sitting down and kyle layed on me and i was playing with his hair for like. 15 minutes. and they tried to get me to smell his shoe.lol..and thenn i gave him a piggy back ride. and i dropped him and he wouldnt talk to me for like ever. =( but then he kinda did. lol. uhmm..me juli karlena and aj went outside. and me and karlena smooched. =)))) <33. and then me and juli waited 238294839 minutes until my mom came. and then we took andrew and kyle home. then we went to my house. and weeee got online i think? yeah. we did. and chris called. and hes so sweet =) we went to sleep around 2:30..i woke up at 9. cuz i was coughing. and i came and got online..and i was talkn to someone but i forgot.hehe but uhm..me and julie got ready..and ate donuts. and then went to my game. yeah .juli shut up. <33 haha we won 4-2. but i got nailed in the face extremely hard and juli was on the side lines laughing at me. thanx. your a doll =0.. but hmm.we came home.cleaned my room..juli shaved her legs. i started some laundry. and then i took a showerr. and was hoping chris was coming down with justin. but not this time..but i got ready..then called justin..and told him to come over..then told karl and aj to come over..soo me and juli walked to her house to wait for justin cuz he didnt know where i lived..and then he called and we went outside to wait..and i had to antitum(sp???) yeah. i looked like a tard. but justin had this golf knife and he was talking about putting holes in people with it. lol. but we walked on the train tracks up to yums..to get karl and aj but they werent there..so we went into the pet store..and saw nasty hairy legged spiders. YUCK! but then karl and aj came. and we walked back. and i have to finish this entry tomarrow cuz i need to go take a shower and get ready for bed. <33
goodnight everyone =)
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[Friday
April 1st 2.48pm] |
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hmm..lets seee...i was supposed to go to justins house..and hang out. and then go to mbp with him and hang out. butttt...his mom said he couldnt go anywhere cuz of his cuncussion ..so yeah. she said i could come over..but idk. thats okay=] i get to hang out withi him in 2 weeks. <33 so thats cool. but yeah. i think the plans for tonight are go to mbp..meet up with brian..and just hang out. i have no idea. i wish i could have seen aj today. makes mee saddddd. =[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[. ughgghg. i;m thirsty;
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[Thursday
March 31st 5.22pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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head automatic-The razor |
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tuesday..my lover came over at like 8am. and i had so much fun with him. ughghgh .i love him so much =] we just hung out..watched tv..wrestled..kissed..cuddles..ate. blah blah blahhhh. i missed that . but he went home around..5:30..or something..and then i went to practice. the only part i liked about it was it was muddy. other than that..our team sucks and i dont wanna play on that team. yeah. so i came home took a shower..all of this crap..and yeeah. then yesterday..i woke up..took a shower..got ready cleaned my room and then annie came over. we hung out for awhile..cooked some foood and then..uhm. got online...blah blah. i played my guitar for her =] and she tried to play..but she sucked. HA HA! lol..and then i did her hair and make-up. she looked puurrttyy. we chilld more..and then megan came over..we all went on a walk..came back..hung out..annie left..we ate dinner.then went to the carnival. it was alot of fun. me and megan rode the zipper 4 times..and the space ship 2 times. and the little i dont know what its caleld but we got squished..we rode that 3 times..we went in both funhouses..and we walked around and emt up with brian and uh huh . after the last time we went on the spaceship mannnnn i was like blahh all feeln sick. lol..and it was 11:00 or so and everything was closing up..so we called my mom..and we were sittn on the bench waiting and a guy from one of the games was like " how about you ladies over there? wanna give it a try?" and i was shaking my head. and he was like well why not? and i was trying to tell him i didnt have any money..but he was like " i cant hear you, cant hear you" so i walked over there and i was like i dont have any money. he was like awe. that sucks. and i was like yeahhh..just standing there..and he was like how old are you? and i was like uhm..13. and his mouth dropped. and i was like what? he was like..no comment. nd he started laughing. so he was hitting on me majorly. haha. then my mom came..and we went to mcdonalds..which wasnt a good idea..cuz i felt sick anyways..so i got home..put on my pjs..called my babe=] ahh i wuv himmmm.. and then me and megan started watching napolien dynamite..and i fell asleep. yeah. then i woke up at 4..cuz i dont remember..then my mom woke me up and told me to go in my bed..so i did..and i left megan out on the couch. haha. then she came in and fell asleep too. and then aj called and woke me up. and we talked for a long time =] i was laughing a lot <33and then me and megan went out and cooked pizza..and watched the rest of our movie..and then she left at like 2:30. i had practice tonight at 5:30..but i was supposed to go over justins to hang out..but no. i think i might go over when he gets home from dinner. or he might come over here. i forget. and then we;re hanging out tomarrow =] hehe. and brian. and everyone else. yayayayayaya. hehe.
well tootles kids
i need you now, more then i ever did.. i'll hand myself over for you .. < |3
.. we don't need to be this way, this isn't what love is
you said you'd always love me , so far im beliveing in you .. but what is left of this?
my throat hurts =[
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[Wednesday
March 23rd 4.07pm] |
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music |
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nothing.. |
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awright awright. so im taking back xanga !!. im sorry i abandoned you so. i am dearly sorry.
Well i have come to the conclusion that i really want to be either home schooled or go to a private school. My parents are checking up on the Navy acadamy in ny for me. im hoping i get out of public school. i can't stand it anymore. the kids are all immature drama loving assholes. and i can only really count on one person. i go to learn and everyone has to fuck around in class, which drags on the day and extends the lesson so really we learn nothing everyday.. Everyone is a follower there, and i basically only see myself pulling myself away from the " in crowd" and doing what is " cool". i can't take public school. and i can't take being a kid. i want nothing more then to grow up and live my life.. it's just taking longer then i expected.
so many things have happened in the past few weeks. and life has been soo hecktec. and i have been taking my medication lately. ha NONE OF YOU KNEW THAT, NOW DID YOU !... but ive calmed down from all of this. i really miss vinny, he passed away just last week. that was hard. im doing good with not letting my emotions take control of me, well except for when i go to lay my head down and all i can think about is our past time. im not sure how long this pain will last, but i do know is i love him and i will never forget a single moment we shared ...
_______________
i love my baby. everything is perfect, and feels so right. i will marry him when i grow up. and we are going to be together forever. i can't imagine looking into anyone elses eyes, or being wrapped up in anyone elses arms but his. --- his smile is the most genuine thing.. i've ever seen. i was so lost, but now i believe <3
my father wrote me an e-mail and this is exactly what is said :
Hey sweetie,
I was thinking about you today and just how mature and capable a woman you are becoming. I want you to know how proud of you I am, every day it seems you are growing right in front of my eyes in leaps and bounds. As I watch you I can not help but think to myself that you will be alright, I know you will be just fine and I feel in my heart you will be able to take care of your self no matter what life deals you. I whish I could give you and your mother more, as I go to sleep at night I always pray that you will get all you want form life and will be happy. I know I have said it before but no matter what you wish to do in life I just want you to be happy. Do not worry about the small things in life, the minor problems that some people obsess upon will always be with you if not one then an other. We have talked about allot of things form time to time, who is dating who, and who is cheating on who, who is talking behind who's back. I can tell that this petty adolescence is starting to bore you and that you are moving on to the tougher problems in life, you are starting to think about your future and a career. I just want you to know, we both love you and will always be behind you no matter what you choose to do. In a few years you will be starting college,soon you will be independent. I am so excited to watch you reach these milestones in your life, to see you progress and achieve accomplishment upon accomplishment. Every day you make me proud, I could not have whished for a better daughter. I love you and always will.
Dad...
:]. things between him and i have also changed, and become better then they used to. I sat him down awhile ago and we had a really big chat and all. im so happy the way things are turning out, even though the past was hard. odd. and uncalled for. everything is looking up... and hopefully things will stay this way.
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| car accident friday__ |
[Thursday
March 17th 7.26pm] |
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music |
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kyle-GULOSH!! |
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im so excited. my brain was so amamzing today. i love it. i felt smart all day. i think it was the outfit + my glasses + my best friend matt :] = me really smart. i was so smart, and shake shake soda kid said i was smarter then matt, and matt is smart. <333
so first lets go through my thoughts of the day.. deja vu. now it's funny because it is really like you are living in the past, present and future all at the same time and everything happens in just a split second, and when you have deja vu, you have already seen it because you are living breathing and dieing all at the same time. Like thoes ppl who can predict the future must have brains that are just farther advanced then most people, because they can see it all happening. it is like they are above us, and know all of our secrets. Lately i have been having this one dream. that i have had many times before, and i know i have. because the second time i had it i recorded it in my dream book. that is where i write all of my dreams down, because sometimes my dreams are just amamzing and blow me away. but anyways. i always have this dream that my little brother and i are running away from his father, and his father is chasing us with a shot gun. im not sure why but he is, and we run through these barns, and fields.. and then i tripp and get bit by a snake, so my brother carries me. and along the way his father catches up and goes to shoot, and i drop my legs down from his arms and protect my brother, and i am the one who gets shot.. and i just hear my brother crying and i wake up. it scares me alot because it reminds me of alot of my brother and my past. many things happened with us 3, and it just scares me. i know it must mean something, or i wouldn;t have it over and over again. and i really miss my brother dearly. i havent seen him since my birthday, which has been almost 3 months now. :[ ...:: sighs ::
it's so scary though because i mean life is so precious AND short. ok so the first 12 years of your life your parents mainly make your decisions. not you. and then you hit teenage years and you have 7 of thoes years. not alot at all. you need to make the right choices. i was thinking about it, and my life. and i have realized life is short, i always new it was but now it just seems shorter and i don't think anyone should waste it doing drugs, or doing things to contract aids. life is too delicate and amamzing. The average life span of a person is to 80 years old. any age after that is just simply a gift... now thoes 7 years that you have determine the next 73 years of your life. how do you want to spend the rest of your life?. if you think about it life is just simply amamzing, to even think that something so powerful can become of something we may never know. ( universe). it is very scary to think of existance and how big and HUGE the universe is. there are more planets then stars in the universe you know. i mean can you think about it? seriously. what is really out there? will we ever know the answers? what is the cause to all of this? NOT GOD. so don't start on religious shit. but anyways. im having a hard time explaining how i feel, but it is just incredible to think about it. i mean ok so the humans brain is huge, but we do not use all of it, and phycics obviously use more of their brain than we can if they can predict the future. I really wish i could live for ever simply because i want to see all the changes in the world, humans, and technology. the brain is big, and we use a small portion of it. as the years have came, we have developed more and more of our brain, and formed form unintelligent cavemen, to amazing sophisitcated people. many people before our time were very intelligent, could the past really have been the future? i mean think about it they built this magnificent buildings and statues, for example maccu pichu, or the pyramids of egypt, the aztecs. they were all outstanding cultural people, probably the most smartest we will ever get. so maybe since we are living the past present and future all at the same time then reallly our generation is the past, and what we belive to be the " past " is really the present... and the present is really the future. As the years go on more of the human brain will begin to develope, making not just humans but MAGNIFICENT creatures. it's amamzing to think that something out there can create something so beautiful ...
ok so i have figured out why mars has no life left on it. Go back to your freshman year in highschool, and think about EARTH SCIENCE. now as you learn about rocks, volcanoes, oceans, waves, weathering, erosion.. and such don't you ever think about nature?. Now i have figured out, that since the oceans and waves slowly eat away the shore lines, and buildings and suck, and tectonic plates spread and separate the earth, and leave gaps, making more and more mountains, and the innner earth will one day devower the entire earths surface. well anywho. ok so my theory that nature is going to overpower humane kind. and one day nature is going to just attack with all that it can do ( everything in earth science) and there will be nothing left but mounds of land, or just water, complete water, and a new spiecies will be born. See now mars, must have had life so they say. so obviously nature overpowered all, and now there is nothing left... and billions of years.. billions of years of wonderful years have been destroyed because of nature. now going back to the whole present past and future thing, maybe mars was really just a time warp of earth, and everything has migrated over to our planet, and once earth gets wiped out, it will move to another planet, and it just keeps continuing on and on... just like that... and mars was just a life that came before us...
now you may think im just nuts or crazy... but have you ever really thought about anything that serious? ...
------
whats beauty without an "iloveyou" ..
nothing but empty eyes
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| love me wednesday __ |
[Thursday
March 17th 7.23pm] |
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music |
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anti-flag--turncoat |
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today was a pretty good day. i did my hair even better then yesturday ! and wore my glasses. boy i love michelle <33 :] well i seemed to have had a pretty good day. nothing new, although alisha is going around telling people that i am pregnant and have aids, but only stupid ppl are beliving her, most of the ppl im friends with hate her and arn't listening to her. My friend greg& amy told me i should beat her up cus he hates her. but w.e lol. amy said she would help, cus she hates her. well.. i learned nothing new today really, although my history teacher was talking about dikes.. and so teddy goes :
" and the moral of the story is, don't stick your fingers in dykes "
hmm.. i don't have any lunch detentions, so im pretty happy. i had fun in lunch today, and bill is going to grow out his gotee for the rest of the year, so andy and i can play with it lol. We made up a story about it, were gonna make a childrens book. haha <3 fun oh fun. and everyone loves paiges butt. omgmg her but is just amazingg. weeee :]
today on the buss, there were so many ppl :]. john lit my pants onfire, so now i have a hole in them. shucks !. then ty licked my phone, and stole my glasses, and we talked about sex, and ty's hair. haha. andrew called out nigger, and there was alot of colored ppl on the bus, it was so bad. Jay and i talk alot more now. im so happy. cus i mean over the summer with us it was just a mess, but at least we are friends now :] and in may were gonna have a parttyyyy. im so excited. hmm..it is very nice outside today, spring is coming
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lately, i have been getting really jelous. now i mean it's stupid, because im sure nothing bad is going to happen. but the whole situation has been making me jelous. ughh but andrea is making me feel better about it. i just hate being jelous over it, cus it's stupid. i trust him. im just stupid i guess.... well jelous =/ i just miss him so much, i guess that is it. cus i haven't seen him in awhile and im going kinda crazyyyy. i fucking love him
since i am grounded from xbox live, i haven't been able to play halo2 and so my friends are getting upset, like so :
twiztedsk8ter34: i just got off halo and finals pissed because your never on
awee... im loved. :]
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ok so if a guy has butt sex, but never vaginal sex.. is he considered a virgin still? im so curious to know the real answer because some say yes and some say no.. but is there even an answer, is sex just sex? i mean in some ways it is just sex, but yet it's so different all at the same time.. ughgh im so confused.
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| lonely tuesday__ |
[Tuesday
March 15th 8.07pm] |
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 bouncy |
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anti-flag--turncoat |
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I decided to update with an actual entry, but its gonna be long, & im sure half of you wont read it but i thought'd id type it anyways, & if you have the time to read it, um i guess please do it.
Deep entry on those four little letters, Love.
Pretty much for everyone, i think love has gone wrong at some point in there lifes. Some people cope well with losing someone that they were "in love" with & some people dont. I'll admit, & im sure everyone probably already knows this, i didnt cope well with losing someone i was "in love" with. I'm okay now, and theres always gonna be those little times in my life where i'm gonna miss it and maybe shed some tears but i've moved on. But i think everyones like that now & again.
Now theres those times where we all think we were "in love" with someone, but after the break up with that someone, we realized we really werent, but we did like them a lot. Also there are those times when that someone really loves you, and you say "i love you" to them but you really dont mean it. I have said "i love you" to someone with out meaning it, & i shouldnt have, that can really hurt a person. I think being hurt & knowing that you've hurt someone are equal in pain. It really makes you feel bad to know you've hurt someone. But it also sucks really bad to be the person hurt. i know some people who throw around "i love you" like its a game or like your obligated to say it to your boyfriend or girlfriend, your not obligated to do anything, its not like its a rule of being someones boyfriend or girlfriend. i think everyone from now on, shouldnt say i love you unless you truly mean it, and that your 99.9% or 100% preferably that you are in love with that person. But also what happens with your in love with someone, & they arent in love with you?
There are those people that are so truly in love its amazing to me. I envy that. As much as I, myself, am scared to fall in love another time, that feeling, i want that feeling of being totally & completely in love, no matter how much i guard myself. I know that i guard myself, but i dont know what else to do. I go into a relationship thinking, i will not fall in love, and if that person tells me they love me, i deny their love. But who am i to deny anyones feelings, i just truly dont want to hurt. i also go into a relationship thinking they're going to break up with me, i hate thinking like that, but i know i do, & i dont know how to stop that way of thinking.
Two movies that remind me so much of guarding themselves from love are "How To Deal" & "Hitch", i really recommend you see them. But the people in the movies, their way of thinking, reminds me some of my way of thinking, thinking every guy/girl is the same and nothings going to change. Even tho not every guy is the same.
For once, i want to be able to let my wall down once, and not be so protective of my heart. But im scared for that one time that i do, its going to be the wrong time, that they are going to hurt me. And i hate being so negative towards "love", but how else do i save myself the heartache. Maybe i think about this to much, maybe im not helping myself at all. I dont even know anymore. All I know is that I AM in love with someone amazing. hes so unexplainable. i just love him.
i believe in love at first sight, i believe in being in love. I just dont want to fall in love. Why do you think they call it falling anyways?
Today, i promise, that i will not say "i love you" to a guy, unless im completely sure that i am in love with them.
[if you took the time to read this or even just a little bit of it, please comment, with thoughts, opinions, or anything, even if i dont know you]
so yes, onto the bigger and better things of my day...it started off allright i suppose. science was quite greatt acually. i was laughing basically the whole time. i was quacking at michael and hitting myself in the face..weird eh? yeah. haha.thats me though =] so yeah.sewing was really stupid. i have no passion to be good or nice or pay any attention at all in that class..i just dont like it. soo i got kicked out cuz me and sammy were talking toooo much. and we werent doing our work. so i left..and when i came back..me and sammy were talking more..so ms. heffer moved my seat. sammy..grrr. he always gets in trouble. but i gotta love em . ..yeahh..then me and sammmmmyyyy were walking to math..and he took a pin from sewing..and i told him i'd peirce his lip for him..and he was like allright!! but he told he to be careful not to hit a vain cuz if i did that one side of his face would be all sloopy. hahaha. <33 funni funni..then in math we did some march madness shaz with basketball statistics. riiiight. thenn english was allright. justin and zack were crackn me up...then i went to the nurse..then went home..got online. did my homework. blah blah fooosh. and then me and my mom went to the gym. came home..did more homework..took pictures..ate some spaghettios and now i'm here..blabbing to you..and talking to my babester ..
<333
and i can't wait for this snow to go the fuck away, i want summer to come. i want to go down to the shore soo fuckingg badd.. <33 ughh polish ices, bumper cars and amamzing rides.. cotten candy, board walk, spending all my money on games... and playing in the ocean. GOD IT IS WHAT I LIVE FOR
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[Monday
March 14th 6.50pm] |
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i got my guitar from taste of chaos<33 its hawt to the fucking max!
pictures laterrrrr
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| blah blah foosh |
[Sunday
March 13th 6.13pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed..you know how we do. |
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music |
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the starting line-best of me |
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everything sucks ass.. <||3
well..lets see...i woke up around..11? or something this morning..and aj called. idk what his problem is but i think hes PMSing. and i hate it. hes mean to me. =[ anyways..we got off the phone..cuz he was being bitchy..soo..i didnt wanna talk to him. and thenn i layed in bed for awhile and watched TV. then i got up and got in the shower..yeah yeah. got dressedddd blow dryed/straightened my hair. i looked all pretty cuz i thought aj was coming. =] and then..he calls and says he doesnt wanna get ready..so therefore..i cant see him ..sooo i started crying..bcuz its been 4 weeks? and we had an opportunity to hang out..and he didnt wanna. thats some shit. i'm so pissed off about that..i ughghghgh ..so yeah. my make-up was all terrible..so i re-did it..and it looked like poo cuz yeah. but yepp. i wore my grumpy bear pj pants to the game..cuz i didnt feel like wearing shorts. sooo me and my mom got there around 2..and only a few ppl from our team was there..and yeah. me and jamie wanted to go downstairs and start practicing..but these really crucial emo boys were blocking the stairs..but we went down anyways =] and before we went down..the boys did and the guy said they couldnt practice..but when we went down there they said we could. so the guys were like whattt? haha. so we were practicing and shooting blah blah foosh. and then the rest of the team showed up. blah blah. we started..and our team sucks. and of course we lose. i dont understand how we were like 3rd place like last month..and now we;re in 9th. ..::shakes head:: next weeks our last game..yepp yepp..me and my mom went to arbys..and then jo anne fabrics..i got some stuff for a blanket =] and then we went tooo nicks..and then walmart..and then home. yepp.. i still have work to do..blah blah foosh x2
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[Saturday
March 12th 9.41pm] |
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i love how you all always comment.
i'm oh so loved
jay kay, jay kay. you know you all hate me =]
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| time to cuddle_saterday |
[Saturday
March 12th 5.35pm] |
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mood |
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okay. |
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music |
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i would stop time to keeep your hand by my sideeee..!!! |
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wow. i was most definitly in a terrible mood last night. ..i had written a long as entry..and it disapeard. so i was fucking livid. GRRRR!!well..idk. nothing much has been going on...i talked to aj before i went to bed last night..and jarret was over...and i had been crying..and aj could tell..and i told him i didnt wanna talk about it cuz he had someone over and everything..and he said he thought he knew why i was crying.and i'm sure he does. its the reason i've been crying sence 2 weeks ago? yeah. so we got off..and i got back online..until 11? or so. and then i layed down..and watched tv..and fell asleep at 12 or somthing. uhh..i woke up at 9:55..cuz my mom asked me if i wanted to go grocery shopping..and i said no. and then i layed there and ran outside to make sure she didnt leave..cuz i decided i wanted to go. =] so yeah..i got in the shower and everything..and we left. and we were there untilll ....1:30. holy cow...came home..put the gorceries away..and then got online..watched tv...slept. ate. did some work. called aj. its our 15th month =] yumm. now i'm sitting here..i think megan might come over tonight..i'm not sure though..
seriously...zannie and colleen and all of your fucking friends..need to grow the fuck up. you all really piss me off. i'm tired of all of this shit..your all so shady. actn like we're all cool..and then talkn shit..right right. grow up.
i love my andrew john calvert<33333
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[Friday
March 11th 8.39pm] |
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mood |
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fuck! |
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music |
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cauterize-shooting stars |
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fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.
i dont need you or your fucking games.
fuck you.
fuck you.
AND FUCK YOU!@@#$#%$^$^%$^^#%$@!!!!!!!!!
i need you though. i want you and i love you..please baby come back to me. =[
please?
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[Thursday
March 10th 7.43pm] |
There's been an accident, and my memory's been wiped. I have no recollection of who I am. Tell me about myself. What do you know about me? What kind of person am I? What are my likes and dislikes? How did we meet and how long have we known each other? Is there one thing in particular that stands out about me? Tell me who I am.
Post this in your own LJ to see what people say about you
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[Wednesday
March 9th 8.44pm] |
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mood |
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uhmm..moo |
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music |
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lostprophets-last summer |
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being grounded isnt as bad as i exspected. but let see. tuesday we had msa testing shaz for math..and it was easy..i fell asleep ..i always fall asleep. lol..yeahh..then we stayed in math for a half hour..went to lunch..then went back to math..then to english..and then gym. gym was gay. we had 45 minutes and we didnt even do anything..i layed on the floor most of the time..talking to colleen who was above me. lol..yeahh..then i came home..and dont remember doing much. talked to my lover. durr. me and wake are talking again =] he makes me laugh. lol..i might go seeee him this spring break..but i'm not sure.yeah. then todayyy..we had msa again..and a half day...so we didnt even go to homeroom..so right when we got to school we went to out testing rooms..and then we tested..haha..and people brought it snacks and stuff for us..and candy..so the teacher was passin out candy while we were testing..and out pod was finished first..so yeah yeah. we got to eat chiips and juice stuff. and then we went to sewing..and didnt do anything..me and sammy talked =] i love him SOMETIMES! ..haha. yeahh..then we went back to math.. and we had pizza and cookies and juice and rice crispie treats.. =]!!! but i only had rice crispie treat and a peice of pizza..yeah..and then my mom came and got me cuz i had to go to the kidney docter..she put me on this medicine for a year. EEEK! so yeah.. we got there at 1..and are now getting home at 8:00..yeah. we were there a very long time.and now i'm uploading pictures. so booyow. check out the site. biotch
http://community.webshots.com/user/summerheartsx3
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[Monday
March 7th 7.52pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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lostprophets-last summer |
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okay..well last night..i wouldnt get off the computer..and it was like..10:30..or something..so my mom was bitching..and i told her to be quiet. so she came and unplugged my computer. and i wasnt in a very good mood anyways..and so i was all pissed..and she was like go to bed now. i was like i'm not tired =] and she was like dont you plug that computer back in and so i did and i was like you act like you;d do something. and she was like yelling at me. ohh..how scary...STUPID! gosh. but yeah..she really pissed me off. so i went to bed at like 12..cuz i was pissed..and upset and ever fucking thing..so yeah..i got up kinda early this morning..and got in the shower and such..then my mom took me to school. uhmm..we had MAP today..=] me and danea were laughing the hole time..yeah..we got some 100 grand bars? or something and a tootsie pop. thenn we went to science. the periods were shortened today..so yeah. we didnt do much..i was falling asleep =[ THEN! the principle called me to the stage..and a whole rack of ppl...and it was cuz we're failing. soo..yeahh..we have an opportunity to go to thomas stone this friday and idk. hard to explain .idk if i wanna go =\eeep. but yeah..then i went to sewing..and it was boring...and she yelled at me when i first walked it !! gosshh..i hate that teacher. yeah..it was boring..talked to sammy and justin the hole time. then went to to the nurse..cuz i've been in a not wanting to go to math kind of mood..so i went to the nurse for an hour. idk..i've been like blahh..hard to explain. everything is messed up =[ but boopers. then i went to english..and started readind a play..and did the warm up..and make up work..cuz i have a 25% in that class which depresses me more than anything. then i went back to math for msa shit. and it was boring..i was just sitting there..looking at the ceileing..thinking about everythinggg....=[ then the bell rang..and i just walkd out to my moms car..and we left. it was such a pretty day ..71* =] so i came home..ate some peanuts..and then talked to annie..and then me annie and juli went on a walk..then we went to the park..took pictures *on the site at the bottom*..Jesse was there..lol..and he was playing tag with his little neice..lol.very cute. we were just talking..blah. i couldnt get himmm off my mind..and it was driving me crazyyyyyyy. grr. but yeeah..we saw zannie sammy and colleen walk by..and they didnt even say anything..how rude. but i could seriously care less. thenn we started walking annie home..and there was a dog and i hate when i see dogs that are like loose..so i turned and walked the other way..and annie walkes up to it..and it like attacks her..so shes running from it..lmfao...it was so funni. me and juli kept walking..crakn up. then we walked annie half way..and me and juli were allmost home..and i forgot annie had my cell phone. GRRR!! so i wqas gonna walk back..which was gonna take forever sence she lives on the other side of the neighboorhood. so we just walked to my house..and the first thing my mom says when i walk in the driveway is "dad saw ur interum and said your grounded"..and i've never been grounded before..so i was like yeah right. haha..so me and juli went in my room..and i got the box out of me and aj's memories and stuff..and i was showing and explainging everything to her..and i was reading a poem i wrote him..and i got teary eyed..trying hard not to cry..i so realized that nothing this amazing could ever come upon me..and i'm so stupid to think that something could be better than this. we are going thru it bad right now..and it sucks..but i'm hoping we'll be okay. bcuz i love this boy more than life itself..and i'd be lost without him . <33 i love you babyyyyy =] so yeah..i showed her everything..and we listend to the used..and yeah. my mom drove us to annies to get the phone..and then dropped juli off...and came home..ate..and then had to talk to my dad.. and because i have a 25% in english..i'm grounded for 2 weeks..cant go anywhere..have to be offline and off the phone by 9:00, and can only be online 2 hours A DAY! including weekends not seeing andrew, or kyle, or juli, or aj, or nick ,or austin..or anyone..is going to drive me insane. i havent seen aj for 2 weeks as it is..plus 2 more. JESUS! =[ this is terible. weekends i am going to be so lonely. so if your reading this, and you wanna call me on the weekend to keep my company..im me and i'll give you my number,if you dont already have it =] yeah..but i started crying..cuz i'm in a emo mood lately..so yeah..just thinking about everything i've been thinking about..plus this..and the stress of getting my grades up in 2 weeks..god. i'm so fucking UGHHGHGHG!!!!! i'm leaving. i cant take this shit. =[
post tomarrow...
<33 emo bitch.
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[Sunday
March 6th 9.42pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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derbylane-attalia |
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i had a really good time on friday at mbp. kyle was flirting with me ..lol. i love him. =] i love andrew too. there both veryyyy nice looking. haha. uhmm..kevins band wasnt all too great. ..i gave kyle a piggy back ride..he was "riding" me. lol...he was like all in my face..talking to me..i thought he was going to kiss me. i would have melted ..he did kiss my head though... funayyy <33...yeah..kyle hung around me more than andrew did. we kept tickling eachother. and i stole his hat =]. i wish we were single. doot doot. we gave andrew kyle joe nick and austin a ride home..there wasnt enuf room so kyle had to sit on my lap..and he was being goofy. i just wanted to hug him and kiss him and never let go!! =] we were singing..lol. duh. we always sing when we;re together. andrew is such a sweet heart =] i cant ever get enuf of him. hes so fun to be around and to goof around with. <33 love them bunchies. uhh..me and juli came home..and we hung out..and cooked a hole rack of food..got online..then went up and layed in MY!! bed and ate our food. then juli fell asleep..and i was not tired att allll..so i got back online until like..2:30..i forgot who i was talkn to though. but yeah..then i went to bed =] uhm..i originally had practice at 1 on saterday..so i woke up at 12..and my mom said it was canceld..once again. so i went back to sleep..and woke up cuz juli was coughing in my ear. lol..we got up..got ready and everything..and then juli left..and i just hung around doing nothing. i felt like seeing andrew..cuz you know how i cant get enuf of him. but him and kyle were skating.so i got in the shower..and yeah..sat online all day..then i started listening to the used' old cd..and i started crying..for reasons i shall not tell you. =] i'm kind of over it now..i just wish things were different. yepp yepp. but i'm happy for what we have with eachother now =] uhmm yeah..i went to bed like at 2..or something..i was looking thru baby pictures to show kyle..which i forgot to bring to him today. DAMIT! but yeah..i was up looking for pictures, and talking to ppl online.friday at mbp..i kinda thought kyle liked me..but now that i think about it..i dont think he does. that sucks. but yeah..i woke up at 7:30 this morning for aj's game...yeah..so me and my went to that...and i saw him for about 10 minutes..its been 3 weeks sence we've spent time together. idk..=\ so yeah..he told me we couldnt hang out cuz he had an essay to write..soo..i came home..and talked to kyle and andrew.why? bcuz i love them dearly. and i met up with kyle and andrew at joes..but joe wasnt home..so we hung outside..for like..10 minutes? talking and bouncing my ball and such. then we went inside..and they were tuning there guitars..and kyles string did something..lol so he had to get a new one..and it took him a long time to fix it..but then they started playing..and he kept looking at me..like STARING! =] <333 he was very cute. he sang a song about me. funnayyyy. i was sitting on the couch..and then andrew like comes and jumps on me..kinda. cuz i was laughing at something on kyles phone..and he wanted to see..but i closed it =] so he started tickling me..and it was fun =] i was like rolling around. lol he kept tickling me at random times..me and kyle talked about the guitar...and yeah. gosh. i wanted to like..idk. lol..NEVROMIND! he wasnt around much. and he thought be and andrew were boning..bcuz he was tickling me and i was laughing. kyle comes in and askes me how lesbians have sex. lmao. that was great. we watched a lezbo porno =] yeah..but we went on a "walk" and i fell in the creek and my show got caught in the mud..and fell off..so i was gonna leave it there..but andrew got it for me..my leg foot and shoe were so muddy. lol..they were all laughing at me. =] andrew messed up my hair.and told me i was going bald..and kept calling me chubby. and kept telling me that he hated me. BUT! its okay. bcuz i know he loves me =] yeah..so him and kyle kept calling me bfm. *bald fat and muddy* but i thought it meant big fat monkey. haha. yeah..we went in patricks room..and yeah uh huh .then we went downnn stairs...and kyle was eating ice cream like a mad man. and he had a boner. and it was hott. he said it was hard not to be fucking me or something. lol. i wanted to kiss him a lot. lmao. yeah. but not now. we're not single. so yeah..my mom came at likeee 6:30..and i said my gooodbyeesss =[ and yeah. my mom smelt something. and i said kyle burnt the macaroni and cheese. lol..idk. stupid excuse. but she fell for it. so yeah we drove home..and i got online..and washed my foot . lol. and now i'm calling andrew and texting kyle. whoop whoop. i'm listening to music and uploading pix. so, yeah. update later-izzle biotches
your one and only whore. face. x2
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| CAR ACCIDENT FRIDAY |
[Friday
March 4th 5.26pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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hopeless love<33 |
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today is friday. durr. uhhhhh school was gay. haha. suprise?? nope. history was funn..me and riley were laughing like the whole period. for no reason. uhh gym was fun too..i didnt dress..and neither did leenO or sammy. ..there class was upstairs..and mine was down..but i snuck upstairs so i could hang out with them =] and ms .madden(their teacher) was all yelln t me..but i didnt go anywhere..lol i guess she gave me a referall..she said i could? or some shit. confusing. yeah..colleens mom came and got her...and sammy just walked out the side doors and left with them. haha. funni. uhmm..math was stupid. i left at 12 cuz i had an ortho appintmet. i got lime green =] and he said that i get my braces off in 2 months <33 and it hasnt even been a year. haha. yummy. but yeah..i didnt go back to schoool..cuz my mom said i didnt have to..so we went to mcdonalds =]<333333 and then we went to 7-11..and then we came home. i fell asleep. uh huh .then everyone left..so i was allll aloneeeee..so i decided to dye my hair.to try and fix the fuck up my mom made the first time..so i dyed it..and it was like orange..but then aftter i washed it and blow dryed it and everything.its a pretty redish looking color. kinda different. my mom walked in and was like hello there ms carrot juice. lol..i was like grr. but yeah..at 6 i'm going to get ready for mbp..and then at 6:30 i suppose we're leaving. my BESTFRIEND juli is staying the night =]. i get to see brett-izzle, andew and kyle tonight. oh and brian. haha/ yummy.
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